Voicelessness.com--Philosophy

My primary task is not to 'fix' you, but to 'find' you: the 'you' that existed before the pain of life, especially unfulfilled relationships with family and significant others, forced you to put up barriers, to limit people’s access, or to choose people who could make little or no contact. I am here to rediscover your unique, original self, to understand the compromises made to protect this self for the sake of emotional survival, and to encourage relationships where these compromises are no longer necessary.

In my essay site: Voicelessness and Emotional Survival (see link to the right), I describe my philosophy: at the root of much emotional suffering is a core self, unseen, unheard, and unloved, a condition I call "voicelessness." Voicelessness leaves people in a bind--they desperately need to find their place in the world, yet their experience with significant others has taught them this is impossible. Often they spend a lifetime trying to compensate using relationships, career, and other strivings. But feelings of dread, shame, and despair, linger, and then appear full force when failure or losses occur. Solving the problem of voicelessness requires a therapeutic relationship where one's core self, human and imperfect, is finally seen, heard, and valued.