How serious is NPD?

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Gabben:
I just found this article about N's and the danger they REALLY are. FYI -- this is not Vankin

http://www.narcissism.operationdoubles.com/npd_site_content.htm


They vaunt themselves on others for the same reason a drunk drinks: to feel better. And like a drunk, they develop a tolerance for their drug. The more powerful they are on you, the better they feel. So they are wanton. They go hog wild and ruin whole lives and careers. They make people social outcasts by spreading vicious lies about them. In positions of power they don't just bully and fire, they blackball. Their bullying or slander in the school or workplace are often crimes and seldom reported.

Your pedophile and child molester are usually a malignant narcissist. And, like all narcissists, they are con artists who get away with it.

For, these spiders commit the perfect crime the one so incredible nobody believes it. Because it's wanton, bizarrely evil, and targets the last people you'd think the narcissist would want to hurt. So, nobody believes Angelface would do such a thing.

Thus people with NPD enmesh their prey in a web that is a Catch-22: Nobody will believe the victim. In fact, a narcissist often taunts the victim by daring him or her to try to get anyone to believe their complaint.


Indeed, when a victim does report the bizarre brand of unprovoked abuse narcissists dish out, she is sorry. Minds and ears slam shut in her face, because, as she feared, she is assumed to be the crazy one. Unless there is a dead body, rape kit, or X-ray evidence that cannot be ignored, even police dismiss the complaint with a "Now why would anyone do that?"

Unknowing they've ever heard of a motive called "malice."

But they know very well that many people need no reason to commit a crime, that they just do it to do it and even do it for anti-reasons, such as to "punish" the good deed of loving them or being their benefactor.

We all know that there are many twisted people in this world and that twisted people have twisted motives that make no sense to the rest of us. Indeed, the judicial system would get nowhere with the most serious crimes if it didn't acknowledge that malice/predation alone is sufficient motive, an ancient principle of jurisprudence.

In fact, malice is the only motive authorities can ever propose for many purely predatory acts, such as rape or serial murder. When they discover a corpus delicti or a raped woman walks in the door they don't ask, "Now why would anyone do that?" They wouldn't dare. So why don't they stop acting too stupid to know that some people need no real reason to hurt others?

Narcissists can and do control themselves when someone's good opinion is sought in front of a judge, for instance and are skilled at presenting a respectable, even admirable, public face; some are actually meek and mild in public. Most of us who've lived with narcissists have had the experience of being disbelieved when we dared to tell what goes on in private; in some ways, we can hardly believe it ourselves. Life with a narcissist is like a bad dream that you can't wake up from. As a child, I used to be dazed by my narcissistic parent's public demeanor I wanted to take that person home with me or else live our entire family life in the protection of the public eye so attractive, modest, and sweet that even I could hardly believe that this same person could be the raging fiend I knew at home and had seriously thought, for a while when I was about ten, might be a werewolf. But truthful reports about narcissists' private behavior are often treated as symptoms of psychological problems in the person telling the tale by naming the problem, you become the person with the problem (and, let's face it, it's more gratifying to work on changing someone responsive than it is to tackle a narcissist). And I'm talking about the experience many of us have had with "the helping professions," including doctors, teachers, clergy, counselors, and therapists. This stuff is hard to talk about in the first place because it's weird, shameful, and horrifying, and then insult is added to injury when we're dismissed as overreacting (how many times have we heard "You're just too sensitive"?), deluded or malicious, as inventing stories, exaggerating, imagining things, misinterpreting it goes on and on.     
 
 
   
  Joanna Ashmun, Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Aftermath 
 
   

Psychiatrists are in a position to rectify this deplorable state of affairs. First, by treating NPD whenever it walks in their door and, second, by educating law enforcement and the professionals of other 'helping' agencies.

People within the mental health profession are finally speaking out against the failure to take malignant narcissism (NPD) seriously, conveniently con-fusing it with mere (benign) narcissism that is acquired and cultural or situational.

How serious is NPD?
  A person with NPD driving an old beater may run a stoplight and blame the victim. How? Because the victim didn't yield the right of way to God Almighty just because of who he is or how old he is or what sex he is or whatever. Why did he bash the victim's car? Because it is a luxury car, not worse than the narcissist's old beater. Next, the big child flees the scene to escape responsibility, heedless of the likely consequences. For, like any child, he cannot think past lunch. 
 
 
 
 
 
  A person with NPD may abuse his wife until she leaves him and then murder her for doing so. 
 
 
 
 
 
  A surgeon with NPD may walk out of surgery to do some banking. 
 
 
 
 
 
  A person with NPD may burn down her house to kill one of her children for insurance money, framing the other for her crime, without a twinge of empathy or conscience. 
 
 
 
 
 
  A 19-year-old may murder his parents when they discover he has gotten 13 credit cards in his father's name and plans to go on a spending spree abroad with them. 
 
 

Those examples are not fiction: they all have happened. NPD is no minor matter.

I get the impression that psychiatry is stumbling in the dark with NPD. That is understandable with such a mysterious disorder that puts anyone who tries to deal with a narcissist in Catch-22. Also, there has been very little research on NPD to guide mental health workers. But I do not understand how authorities can know that narcissists are two-faced pathological liars and yet be unaware that their self-reports are unreliable.

Consequently, different psychiatrists often diagnose the same patient differently. Also, they tend to look for and find attention-getting behavior in women and diagnose them as histrionic rather than narcissistic, because they do not notice the abusive denial of attention that distinguishes Narcissistic Personality Disorder from Histrionic Personality Disorder. On the other hand, in men they tend to miss the attention-getting behavior altogether unless it's overtly childish. Moreover, they sometimes attribute several personality disorders to the same patient. All this clouds the picture. And, I'm sorry I can't demystify it. Let's hope that someday someone does.


 

Certain Hope:
Lise,

  Many of those examples sound more like psychopathic/sociopathic behavior to me (both categories being comorbid with NPD, I think).  Maybe I'm fooling myself, but I've always thought that the average pathological narcissist is too afraid of reprisals to commit such drastic and final an act as murder, unless he/she suffers a psychotic break from reality. Of course, I'm no expert... and I don't know who wrote this info... but Sam V is one whose descriptions of npd I've always suspected are more fitting to a P than N. Oh, so many pathologies, so many initials...  :shock:

Love,
Carolyn

Certain Hope:
Disclaimer - - - lol  :P


I was afraid I screwed up when I mentioned Sam V.

Iz, I do not know who wrote the article quoted here by Lise... doesn't really sound like Sam's style to me.

I only mentioned him because he's the other one I know of who seems to me to confuse NPD with the other pd's.

Love,
Carolyn

Gabben:
Thanks Izzy -- the scott Peterson thing was so sad. Yes, he is the Psychopath or  Sociopath. What was so amazing is just how normal he seemed.

The info I listed here is not Vankin (just an FYI) comes from the following:

http://www.narcissism.operationdoubles.com/npd_site_content.htm


I do not know what to make of this info. However, I do enjoy others insights and feedback on it.

Lise

Certain Hope:
Dear Lise,

When I am trying to shake something off, I tend to research the beans out of it.

I don't like the feeling of something having such influence over me, so I'll study it to pieces with a sense of knowledge being power.

Also, when faced with the prospect of having to release an issue which previously had alot of power over me,
I'll argue with myself - back and forth - between, "yeah, you really need to step away from this issue" and "but, but, but... this is really devastating!!"

So... I dunno, but this feels to me like a way of purging the system... sort of a psychological enema.

Just my ramblings.

Love,
Carolyn

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