Author Topic: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?  (Read 506782 times)

Garbanzo

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3300 on: March 09, 2012, 03:10:58 AM »
Hum, I never considered the monetary cost of the medical expenses and the therapy--that's a really good point Bones. I've always just thought of the emotional/life cost.

(Definitely documented that my symptoms were NOT part of my being "crazy" as the NBitch often decreed that they were!)

No, you're not crazy Bones  8)

Both my mother and brother also said that my medical symptoms were not real and that I was making them up to get attention. I still have them and it's confirmed by doctors.

It's sad that they made us feel crazy when we were young by being cruel like this. What a loss of CONFIDENCE in one's own senses and experiences and perceptions this causes.



Thanks, Starlight.

Not only that, then there's the medical expenses that ensues as a direct result of neglect by the NB*tch that we end up having to deal with.


« Last Edit: March 09, 2012, 03:18:05 AM by Starlight »

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3301 on: March 09, 2012, 07:47:35 AM »
They sure do bones...They sure do.

Thanks, Debkor!
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3302 on: March 09, 2012, 07:51:32 AM »
Hum, I never considered the monetary cost of the medical expenses and the therapy--that's a really good point Bones. I've always just thought of the emotional/life cost.

(Definitely documented that my symptoms were NOT part of my being "crazy" as the NBitch often decreed that they were!)

No, you're not crazy Bones  8)

Both my mother and brother also said that my medical symptoms were not real and that I was making them up to get attention. I still have them and it's confirmed by doctors.

It's sad that they made us feel crazy when we were young by being cruel like this. What a loss of CONFIDENCE in one's own senses and experiences and perceptions this causes.



Thanks, Starlight.

Not only that, then there's the medical expenses that ensues as a direct result of neglect by the NB*tch that we end up having to deal with.





Thanks, Starlight.

These N's not only impact us mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc., etc., the ramifications can go on for YEARS.....impacting future generations if they get the chance to abuse those innocents!  Today's "Dear Abby", in the first letter, seems to be a case in point of three sisters....two of them have gone NC and the third feels conflicted about it all.


http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120309

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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3303 on: March 09, 2012, 08:10:40 AM »


The "Mess" mentioned in "Annie's Mailbox" sounds like another N!   Sheesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mom-s-a-mess-and-auntie-s-a-mom.html
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3304 on: March 09, 2012, 08:18:44 AM »


Today's "Dear Margo" seems to be dealing with a few N's as well:

http://www.creators.com/advice/dear-margo/a-not-uncommon-dilemma.html

I really felt for the letter writer who just lost a pregnancy through miscarriage.  I wouldn't blame her if she bitch-slapped the A$$ for comparing HER arthritis with the cramps!!!!  DAMN!!!!

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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3305 on: March 10, 2012, 06:08:03 AM »
here.................................
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3306 on: March 11, 2012, 09:18:23 AM »
Not sure if I really like Daylight Saving Time when I LOSE an hour's sleep!
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3307 on: March 12, 2012, 07:16:23 AM »
Looks like the N's are out in force today!

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120312
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3308 on: March 13, 2012, 07:17:19 AM »
Today's first letter in Annie's Mailbox sounds like they are dealing with a Narcissistic Bridezilla!!!!!!   :P

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/when-love-throws-a-wrench-into-friendship.html
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3309 on: March 13, 2012, 01:54:55 PM »
Just got a voice mail from my urologist a little while ago.  Can't call him back because he's out of town.  He's concerned about a cyst on my kidney and wants to do an MRI.  Just what I need!  MORE medical bills!!!!!   :P

What bothers me even more is that if this turns out to be more serious, there are NO 3-D people available to be part of a support system.  Everyone's too busy.
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3310 on: March 13, 2012, 10:25:15 PM »
I know that N's can be real Nut/Whack Jobs but THIS one beats all!  She was renting a condo in my development and she brought in a whole bunch of wild pigeons into the unit; letting them fly EVERYWHERE!!!  You can imagine the PILES of bird !@#$ all over the place...including INSIDE A BRAND NEW MICROWAVE OVEN that she left open for them to roost inside of!!!!   :shock:  YUCK!!!!!!   :P

Well, her landlord FINALLY got fed up with all of this crap and told her she had to leave.  Now, she is throwing tantrums because the landlord DARED object to her bringing in those danged wild pigeons!!!!  She's definitely a few french fries short of a happy meal!!!!!

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BonesMS

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sKePTiKal

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3312 on: March 14, 2012, 08:21:59 AM »
I know that N's can be real Nut/Whack Jobs but THIS one beats all!  She was renting a condo in my development and she brought in a whole bunch of wild pigeons into the unit; letting them fly EVERYWHERE!!!  You can imagine the PILES of bird !@#$ all over the place...including INSIDE A BRAND NEW MICROWAVE OVEN that she left open for them to roost inside of!!!!   :shock:  YUCK!!!!!!   :P

Well, her landlord FINALLY got fed up with all of this crap and told her she had to leave.  Now, she is throwing tantrums because the landlord DARED object to her bringing in those danged wild pigeons!!!!  She's definitely a few french fries short of a happy meal!!!!!



Lordy. She sounds like one of those animal hoarders. Not necessarily N, but not healthy either. After watching a few episodes of the TV show "Hoarders"... I think a lot of folks like this are holding on to a lot grief - it's a hole that they're trying to fill with stuff, or animals (sometimes food) - and the co-existing depression creates a kind of helplessness where they just don't care, it's overwhelming to deal with, impossible to make headway. Or... in my mom's case... it's become a vehicle for blaming others instead of taking the responsibility herself; there is still a big hole of grief behind it tho' - at least, that's my theory and I'm stickin' to it!

So, you working on talking to the doc and the MRI today? His staff might have some ideas re: transportation for you.

I'm on my last day of prepping for hosting 8 people over a long weekend. You'll appreciate why my anxiety levels go up, perhaps - I feel so clueless about people's expectations and compelled to try to suss out what they might be and plan ahead. Then, there's the fact that I'm opening a hole a mile wide in my normal seclusion/privacy boundaries... that always feels "iffy" for me. I've had workers here off/on the last couple weeks doing some repairs outside - and my old dog & I are just discombobulated when they're here... and only relaxing when they leave. So, I've tried to focus on my own projects to distract myself.

Then, last night hubs says we have to go pick up the boat today... and I was going to do a whole house "top surface" cleaning and pre-cook a few things that will be easy for those times when someone - but not everyone - is hungry for a nosh. This is a restaurant-tasting weekend... so it's not like I have to do meals... but throwing one more thing on my list (when hubs doesn't assist me with any of these tasks - granted, he is doing other things to help!) just throws me into bitchy-negative-self destructive mode. I've already done a lot of outside cleanup - tedious, hard work.

So I scheduled a massage for yesterday! And dropped so far down into a relaxed state, it took me 20 mins to feel like I was back in my body and conscious! LOL. Of course, I was all knotted up and am sore today... but there was a distinct moment when I felt all the chi start to move again - like a dam breaking. I really need to do this more once a year. Then, I was reading in yesterday's WSJ about some studies on massage and it's very real health benefits... the scientists aren't completely sure what goes on in the body yet. But from experience, I can say that my body holds on to tension... muscles cramp up... nerves are sensitive as hell (and yet numb at the same time)...

It's like the effects of tai chi practice - but way more intense, short & direct. And its an opportunity to experience that physical touch - while totally dependent - that I think I have a primal craving for... in a non-relational (low risk; no drama) way.

But I've got to go and get busy!! I've got so much to do today... and I think the workers are here.

Good luck Bones! I hope you get this current challenge tamed, like I know you will.
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3313 on: March 14, 2012, 09:13:46 AM »
I know that N's can be real Nut/Whack Jobs but THIS one beats all!  She was renting a condo in my development and she brought in a whole bunch of wild pigeons into the unit; letting them fly EVERYWHERE!!!  You can imagine the PILES of bird !@#$ all over the place...including INSIDE A BRAND NEW MICROWAVE OVEN that she left open for them to roost inside of!!!!   :shock:  YUCK!!!!!!   :P

Well, her landlord FINALLY got fed up with all of this crap and told her she had to leave.  Now, she is throwing tantrums because the landlord DARED object to her bringing in those danged wild pigeons!!!!  She's definitely a few french fries short of a happy meal!!!!!



Lordy. She sounds like one of those animal hoarders. Not necessarily N, but not healthy either. After watching a few episodes of the TV show "Hoarders"... I think a lot of folks like this are holding on to a lot grief - it's a hole that they're trying to fill with stuff, or animals (sometimes food) - and the co-existing depression creates a kind of helplessness where they just don't care, it's overwhelming to deal with, impossible to make headway. Or... in my mom's case... it's become a vehicle for blaming others instead of taking the responsibility herself; there is still a big hole of grief behind it tho' - at least, that's my theory and I'm stickin' to it!

So, you working on talking to the doc and the MRI today? His staff might have some ideas re: transportation for you.

I'm on my last day of prepping for hosting 8 people over a long weekend. You'll appreciate why my anxiety levels go up, perhaps - I feel so clueless about people's expectations and compelled to try to suss out what they might be and plan ahead. Then, there's the fact that I'm opening a hole a mile wide in my normal seclusion/privacy boundaries... that always feels "iffy" for me. I've had workers here off/on the last couple weeks doing some repairs outside - and my old dog & I are just discombobulated when they're here... and only relaxing when they leave. So, I've tried to focus on my own projects to distract myself.

Then, last night hubs says we have to go pick up the boat today... and I was going to do a whole house "top surface" cleaning and pre-cook a few things that will be easy for those times when someone - but not everyone - is hungry for a nosh. This is a restaurant-tasting weekend... so it's not like I have to do meals... but throwing one more thing on my list (when hubs doesn't assist me with any of these tasks - granted, he is doing other things to help!) just throws me into bitchy-negative-self destructive mode. I've already done a lot of outside cleanup - tedious, hard work.

So I scheduled a massage for yesterday! And dropped so far down into a relaxed state, it took me 20 mins to feel like I was back in my body and conscious! LOL. Of course, I was all knotted up and am sore today... but there was a distinct moment when I felt all the chi start to move again - like a dam breaking. I really need to do this more once a year. Then, I was reading in yesterday's WSJ about some studies on massage and it's very real health benefits... the scientists aren't completely sure what goes on in the body yet. But from experience, I can say that my body holds on to tension... muscles cramp up... nerves are sensitive as hell (and yet numb at the same time)...

It's like the effects of tai chi practice - but way more intense, short & direct. And its an opportunity to experience that physical touch - while totally dependent - that I think I have a primal craving for... in a non-relational (low risk; no drama) way.

But I've got to go and get busy!! I've got so much to do today... and I think the workers are here.

Good luck Bones! I hope you get this current challenge tamed, like I know you will.

Thanks, P.R.

Sounds like you have a full plate on your hands!

About the Nut/Whack Job I was referring to, I think she is a combination N and Hoarder because she brags that she is ENTITLED to do whatever she wants!  While the new tenant was over here, overseeing the professional cleaning crew in getting all that bird mess out to ensure her asthmatic son would be safe, the N Hoarder showed up cussing and screaming that she was ENTITLED to take back the unit because SHE should never have been put out by the landlord!  She even screamed accusations at the new tenant for being in HER way!  She got told that it was her own fault that her lease was terminated, she does NOT own the unit, she does NOT live here anymore and that SHE NEEDS TO LEAVE!

The next time the new tenant describes a similar scenario, I'm going to suggest that she call the police because this N is TRESPASSING!

BTW, I'm not sure what time the doctor will call me back. 
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3314 on: March 14, 2012, 07:24:55 PM »
The doctor called me a little while ago and we are in the process of arranging an MRI.
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