This is what I realized about me - yes, I was tired all the time, and didn't always think clearly, and I made mistakes, and I get angry. But I'd get angry when lied - surprise? - and most other behaviors I'd feel guilty about when he'd point them out were also reactions to his manipulation and abuse. He was a master psychological batterer. He'd say and do things in such a way I'd feel like scum, but when I'd talk about it, he'd explain I was jumping to conclusions, etc, and we'd soon be talking about all that was wrong with me.
I, too, was on antidepressants, but with him out of my life I was able to get off them in less than a year. In my case,HEe was the problem, but he was convinced it was opposite, and he almost convinced me.
My Nhusband was an energy sucking, lying vampire, and after I left and started to detox I realized how lucky I was to have escaped. At first, his tapes still played in my head. Be strong, and take care of yourself and your children.