Author Topic: This and That  (Read 94 times)

lighter

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This and That
« on: September 04, 2017, 07:43:01 PM »
We came home today after holiday travel.  The first thing I thought was "What died?"

Surely there's a dead mouse somewhere in the garage, if only I can find it.  That didn't bother me much, surprisingly.  Not long ago it would have set me very on edge, but not today.

I think part of that is stepping back from trying to do more than I can possibly do.  I have to admit I PLANNED holiday that way, then pulled back at the end, and just stopped. 

This put us back home early afternoon with plenty of time to catch up, and prepare for the week... a really good thing.

Turned out something in the re cycle bin was dodgy.... the garage is still mouse free.  Yay.

I feel great about making 4 different soups for my step father, and convalescing friend.  There are frozen single serve portions in freezer bags in four flavors.  Baked potato soup, broccoli cauliflower chicken soup, beef vegetable, and chicken corn chowder... oh my, here comes fall!  I love soup in the fall, and esp mommy made soup.

My house feels less stressed as I drive up to, and enter it.  Not sure if it's that I'm getting ahead on my to do list OR I'm feeling better in my skin.  Has to be both, I'm thinking.

We played a lot of cards over holiday.  It's now an accepted fact that one can determine their own outcome with the cards through muscle testing, and has been labeled "cheating" by my youngest dd if detected or suspected. For the most part, I don't think about it, and find amusement at youngest dd's intense feelings around it.

 She was very upset when one of our friends learned to muscle test herself last night while playing cards. This was done to help the friend figure out her true YES and NO.  Often a forward lean is YES, and a backwards lean is NO, but that's not always the case.  My friend has been frustrated for years at not being able to do this for herself, esp at the grocery store.

At first my friend was sure it wouldn't work for her at all, and it seemed it wouldn't.  After an hour of trying..... calming herself down, and changing from seated to standing position, there was a shift.  She found her YES was forward leaning, and NO was backwards.  Soon other card players were trying it, and DD's zen was tested  once again.  I think she'll be working on her own YES and NO soon, and I'll be glad of it.

I don't know if it's really cheating, but it's a super great way to experience concrete results from different leanings, IME.  Everyone can see the results to boot.  I rate this an A++ fun way to learn to muscle test yourself.

My girls are making their own lunches for school.  I don't worry about it.  I used to worry about it a lot.  Oldest dd is figuring out her new schedule with the cleanse.... only 7 days left, 5 of them at school so I'm happy she's being proactive.  She's on board with this 100%, and driving her own boat which is how it has to be.  She'll figure out her own eating plan when it's done, and I'll try to keep my nose in my own business.

I'm looking to purchase a used infra red sauna for the house for detoxing purposes.  It would be good to have a wooden one, but that entails putting in a dedicated circuit.  The easier way is to get a fold up soft model we can travel with, but I worry about off gassing.  Hmmmm. Anyone have information about this?

::taking time to appreciate the things in front of me now that I enjoy::

Using the Nescafe coffee maker.  I got a great deal on it, almost free, and it makes good enough espresso I've decided, though purchasing the pods isn't easy.  They have to be ordered and arrive via snail mail.  I particularly like drinking espresso from the little child's mug, with spring green polka dots, made by the lovely nun who raises bunnies. My sister gave me that mug 15 years ago, and we never used it much.   

::nodding::.

It has a lamb on it too.

::nodding again::.

And is just the right size.

Lighter













« Last Edit: September 04, 2017, 07:49:05 PM by lighter »

lighter

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Re: This and That
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2017, 07:58:08 PM »
I forgot to write that I've started a new project around the hardest of the hard things I've yet to finish dealing with.  The hours go by like seconds, and my hand cramps as I NEED to push past it, and write write write more more more.  In red.

It's the right time, and the right way.

I 'll destroy it with paint and pen then turn it into something else.

Lighter


lighter

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Re: This and That
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2017, 12:18:05 PM »
More work on the project, and it comes quickly, and without trouble.  Sort of like barfing on paper, IMO. 

More work on the yard... and it's still very easy, and enjoyable.  I see clearly what I'll do in some areas.  No thinking. 

I have to remember not to ruin the clothes I'm enjoying now.  I tend to see work, and drop into it without thinking about what I'm wearing.  All my previously favorite clothing ended up in the painting clothing pile.  I'm trying to think before I begin.  Gloves?  Hat?  Long sleeves?  Good boots for the job?   I'd like to look put together when I'm not working.... maybe sometime soon I'll care about how I look when I am working. This is becoming my life.  It's new.

I've noticed I allow myself to become overwhelmed quite a bit around the news lately.

To overcome it, I'll go back to what I learned from prior struggles....

do everything I can to positively impact the outcome, then get on with myself.

I have to turn the TV off now.

Lighter

   

lighter

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Re: This and That
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2017, 10:30:07 PM »
I had a consult with a moss expert yesterday.  The good news is I have a lot of moss, and every part of my yard will grow it without trouble.  I thought I had spots that were struggling BUT those areas simply have ugly brown green moss growing on them.  I just have to sew handfuls of the lovely fluffy bright green moss on top of it.... it looks like tiny little ferns.  SO.  Lovely.

I started pulling weeds around the mailbox.  I want to complete the first feature in that area, but man.... So.  Many.  Weeds.  So many to pull by hand.  I'm about to scrape it, put in sheets of moss, then use what I scraped up to crumble over the ugly green brown stuff.   

::nodding::.

I just know I enjoy thinking about it. I enjoy DOING this.  I can't wait to go rock hunting, and forest driftwood hunting.  This is as much fun as shell seeking, which I haven't done in years, but used to love too.

I enjoy feeling like my younger self. 

Remembering I was loved by Bill so much.  It felt really good to be someone's moon and stars.  That was real.  It's part of who I am, and I'll carry it with me always.  Just bc something ended doesn't mean it's gone. 

I think I'm through mourning.  I think I'm ready to embrace what I had, and lean into the future with hope again. 

When I was driving the girls to school Monday, after the storm blew through.... I was unhappy about having to drive with all the trees down.  Our school was one of the only schools open, bc that area didn't get much damage.  Our area had the most damage.  The BlueRidge Pkw, which I love driving the kids to and from school on, is still closed.  I digress... I noticed I had a wheedling whiny voice when I talked to a buddy about the drive.  He was going to have to drive to school to, later that day, and I really felt it was unfair to keep the school open when most schools closed, and the ones that didn't had a 2 hour delay.  It was sort of nuts to have everyone out on the roads before all the power lines and trees could be cleared, IMO. 

I really hated the whiny victimized tone I found myself using, and I decided right there I was going to stop.  I recognize it in my oldest child's tone at times.  I don't like it on either of us.   

Eventually I lightened up on that drive, and could laugh and joke about it.  This was better in every single way that can be described, IME.  I want more light and less whining in my life.   

I've noticed in the past that my oldest dd lights up like a light bulb when I laugh and feel joy.  Lately I've been going out of my way to let the small stuff go, and seek out joy whenever I possibly can.  For her.  For me.  For all of us.  That Monday drive was a gift wrapped in a challenge.  I need reminders.  It's so hard to GET and internalize lessons, but I really want to.

I don't put on news radio anymore.  I have a few great radio stations we love.  We sing together, and chat.  We talk about good things, and I've noticed things FEEL better.

Our kitchen feels and looks great right now.  We hang out and cook together there.  My kids are asking to play cards again... it's not just me asking.  Things are coming back into focus... sort of.  It's not something that can be forced, IME.  It's in focus or it's not, and there are things that still haven't righted themselves.  Plenty.  This is a work in progress.  I think I can enjoy the ride again. 

Lighter

lighter

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Re: This and That
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2017, 09:30:54 PM »
I was busy all day with a friend, and his parents, who live in Florida, but have sheltered with him.  They were lucky, bc they didn't lose anything... not a window.  Not a tree.  Their area did very well.

It was a lovely day too.  Perfect for working in the yard.  I really want to nail down basic designs, and went out just before dark to snap pictures to work from this evening.  God help me, I think I want to put stone down on the path everyone takes to the forest entrance and line it with moss.  I don't know anything about putting in a stone walkway. 

Yet; )

Lighter

sKePTiKal

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Re: This and That
« Reply #5 on: September 16, 2017, 03:11:28 PM »
There are a couple ways to make that walkway Lighter. But since you want to plant moss, you're going to want to use the easiest way.

So, first step is outlining your path. Landscapers use a kind of spray paint to do this - but you can just layout length of hose, rope or even string. Then, you'll want to clear the sod off... and if you like, you can go down a couple or 3 inches, so the stone wil bel "sunk" in the dirt and the moss will grow up over the edges. I used to do this with creeping thyme.

So, you can either go gather stones (easy for me)... or have a pallet of "paver stone" delivered. The commercial stones will be more uniform in depth, even though there will be some variations. Then just lay them out in your own personal "puzzle" pattern. For moss growing, I'd use a mix of topsoil and peat moss (to hold moisture)... scoop it on top of the stones and then broom it in between. Wet it down really good - wait a few days - wet it again and plant your moss. I think you can also "feed" moss old milk... maybe it's buttermilk.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

lighter

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Re: This and That
« Reply #6 on: September 17, 2017, 10:20:34 PM »
Ahhhh, thanks for that, Amber.  I'm wondering if I can find enough rocks to complete a path.  I think I'll have to have pavers delivered.

I cleared all the weeds from the bottom of a giant oak tree today and planted more moss around it.  Some of the round lovely moss from the nursery, and a big rock went in too.

A neighbor with a German Shepherd, I'd never met before, came round while I was pulling weeds.  Another neighbor gave advice, and was giddy as a child wondering how my yard would turn out.  I love his big black slow gentle dog.

I transplanted a lot of moss today.  The girls owe me several hours in the yard, and I'm looking forward to that.

My youngest dd has a friend over.  He's a boy, but not a "boyfriend."  Of course he's very funny, and makes her laugh.  She likes what we call "giggle boys."  They're nerds together.  Later on two more friends joined them, and stayed overnight.  They're so nice.  This morning they got up, and made brunch.  DD cooked apple bottom pancakes, and the giggle boy cooked jalapeno, onion, and garlic scrambled eggs topped with cheese, hot sauce optional.  I LOVE THIS KID.  It's odd when the kids all the sudden grow up, yet aren't.

My oldest enjoyed being around her sister and friends.  She played piano,  did homework, cooked dinner tonight, and folds clothes as I write this.  She has her school photo tomorrow so showered, and will have clothes picked out before bed, bc she thinks it's a good idea.  If this doesn't sound wonderful, let me just tell you.... it is. 

I can hear in her voice that she's paying attention to her tone, and words when she speaks to me.  And it's a good thing, bc I feel like I have her back.  I've really missed her.

 Lighter