Author Topic: Becoming "me"  (Read 18585 times)

sKePTiKal

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Re: Becoming "me"
« Reply #345 on: July 09, 2017, 10:18:14 AM »
Projects of this size have a lot of "hurry up" and "wait" waves to them. I'm in a "wait" cycle now. Now, I have to just deal with myself... energy and schedule shifts for the work I need to plug away at during the hot season... and the other things I didn't have brain space to deal with.

Beach house buyers have finally given up. They couldn't sell their house. So realtor & I shifted to the next phase, to try to get it sold. Lowered the price, in a market with a lot of inventory (higher priced too) where there just haven't been any buyers lately. I have no other option except to be patient.

Last day or two, the little cabin has been on my mind. I haven't been there since December. I either have to decide to commit to caring for the place - or spiff it up and sell it too. I have some things I have to move out of there and bring here, if I do sell it - Mike's ashes being one important thing. It's only 2 hours from here, to get there -- but lately I have a hard time going anywhere. I just don't feel like it or need to.

The cost for the new doors & windows was a lot less than I expected - despite the warnings from everyone that these were more expensive. I have budget to take care of some of the "pretties" here, too and the longer term functionality. Still trying to figure out how this contractor works but we're getting there and I'm not displeased. The windows in the top of the west wall are all gone now and the wall is closed in, but not insulated or sided yet. It's still dropped the temp in that room 5 degrees on the hottest days, so far. A/C only comes on about 5 pm and runs for a few hours until the nights cool off. And I still get plenty of light. As the sun shifts to it's winter path, I'll get even more.

So, Wed or Thurs last week, the guys finished up. They're waiting on siding to finish closing in the doors and the top of that wall. It'll be August before the windows/doors come in. There are a bunch of "me" projects on the list and I guess I'm wasting the coolest morning of the week getting my head back in the "to-do" game. I needed some stream of consciousness, just being and relaxing time. When others are here working, I feel weird if I'm not doing something too. LOL.

There is talk of a "girls weekend" - Holly, Mike's D Autumn and Debbie all need some sleepover time. Sometime in the next few weeks. It will be a mess trying to coordinate that schedule, but it should be worth it.

Foundation for the metal garden barn should get started this week. Ronnie and I are trying to get connected on wood/tree clean up, digging shale and driveway work. I'll need to run and get permits once I order the shed & barn. Still recycling lots of cardboard - at least it's fairly close and they DO recycle it. County is talking about taking glass & aluminum cans too. I need an arborist or someone who's licensed to drop trees, remove some dead ones that could fall into the pond or on the driveway and a couple more that are way too close to the house, for a forest fire zone. The ground here is so rocky and a lot of it is bedrock, that the trees don't develop good root systems in a lot of places.

Taking time out from thinking up new projects (and they're pretty obvious) - I'm remembering some things I'm not sure I've taken care of. LOL. We were going to begin talking about how to structure the company for the future, but The Bro has given me reason to believe he's going to finally file for divorce. We communicate a lot better now, than we have in the past. So, he's been asking for a normal type of support and advice. I offered to put the business plans on the back burner while he sorts out the personal mess. I did some quick research and I believe some of his worries can be put to rest. But, she's clearly got "issues" and it could get a tad messy. He doesn't have the fortitude for dealing with drama... and she's a drama queen. I could even get pulled into that mess, though I haven't had any contact with her for years now. He's been miserable for a very long time and I know that's contributed to his workaholic habits that have impacted his health.

We talked about being alone too. So, it will be interesting to see what happens in the near future and how this plays out. He avoids change whenever possible. For him to initiate this, finally, means he doesn't see any other option for having a life of his own going into the future, with her. His oldest starts college in the fall and the younger has two more years of HS. So that simplifies things somewhat.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

lighter

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Re: Becoming "me"
« Reply #346 on: July 10, 2017, 06:36:30 PM »
Hi Amber:

Sorry the Beach house didn't sell..... the market's so hot in some places. 

It sounds like you hit a home run when you removed windows.  5 degrees and the wall isn't insulated yet.  Wowsers.  That's great. 

I hope you have a terrific sleepover.

Lighter


sKePTiKal

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Re: Becoming "me"
« Reply #347 on: July 17, 2017, 09:34:36 AM »
The girls weekend isn't happening any time soon. Friend can only come for the day on Saturday; Matt wants to catch, clean and eat a snapping turtle and isn't going to miss an opportunity (LOL - so much for stereotypes; he's the epitome of urban artist intellectual - but seems way more at home here than Holly does) and Autumn has to go out of town that weekend.

My contractors are still awol - the general guy is waiting for materials to come in; concrete guy has promised to get here this week - I'll call him in a bit; and the woodstove guy usually is pretty good about getting back to me - so he might be having problems with his new office help. I had the plumbers back because I noticed a little wet coming from the main well pipe to the pressure tank. It had been covered in tape, since before I moved in. They welded up a new pipe and I no longer have to worry about that blowing apart on me and flooding the downstairs. I've got ALMOST all the cardboard out of the garage now - the recycling center is booming - and I need to finish up in the office and move out to working in the studio/garage building.

As for "me" becoming "me"... I think that just has happened gradually now over the past (almost) 2 years. Didn't do anything special except just get up, live my day, go to sleep again. Of course, that means I still struggle with all the left over neuro-pathways of what I lived through 50 years ago - but I don't have to do it as much; it's not as intense; and it's just not as difficult for me to break out of the self-defensive protection coping rut - ie, prison - that I just accepted as being the best alternative to following my own interests, wants, and curiosity.

So, I think it's time to close this thread - this chapter - and start something new. No previews! Coming attractions! LOL. I haven't figure out what it's all about yet... and now that things have slowed down enough that I can hear myself think and "want"... it could go almost anywhere. And that's OK with me. I'm used to "winging it" and it can be a lot more fun than just trying to micro-manage my plans. The "big stuff" is all taken care of and is "off" my head and I can appreciate having some downtime between things happening around here.

I'm still looking at my mudroom space and trying to come up with what I'm envisioning as the end product.
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

Hopalong

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Re: Becoming "me"
« Reply #348 on: July 17, 2017, 12:51:28 PM »
You are one of the few people I know whose use of "mudroom" will be justified.

 :lol:

Hugs,
Hops
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sKePTiKal

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Re: Becoming "me"
« Reply #349 on: July 18, 2017, 06:51:36 AM »
Well, it's easy to see that the CARPET down there is coming out.   :shock:
Success is never final, failure is never fatal.

lighter

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Re: Becoming "me"
« Reply #350 on: August 09, 2017, 09:53:53 PM »
Well, it's easy to see that the CARPET down there is coming out.   :shock:


LOL... Amber.  I jumped to your last post, forgetting what the topic was, and...
:shock:
had to read to catch up.  Funny: )

Can't wait for your next thread.


Lighter