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With over 100,000 posts and 2 million pageviews, the Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board has become a valuable resource for people learning about and dealing with narcissistic spouses/partners, boyfriends/girlfriends, parents, siblings, adult children, bosses, and co-workers--as well as other sources of "voicelessness."
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 41 
 on: July 27, 2014, 06:19:54 PM 
Started by Gaining Strength - Last post by ann3
Thanks for saying that, GS.  I only mention books & movies if I feel they're helpful. 
Quote
I have wondered if it was my mother's death or the horrific, relentless sabotages and  slander done by my brothers at the end of her life and afterward  that set things in motion for me.
Could be; from what I've read, the death of the 2nd N parent is a catalyst & it put me on the road to freedom.
Quote
I was slightly aware during her life for an indescribable longing for her to come clean at the end of her life, but she didn't.
Me too.  It's a kick in the gut.  No closure, no Hallmark made-for-TV-movie ending.  I was left with a tangled web of sh*t, which I spent years in & out of therapy, trying to detangle, just to understand what happened & how to move on.  Oh well, that's how it goes.  But, you are now detangling & journeying towards clarity & freedom.  YAY!  Very Happy

 42 
 on: July 27, 2014, 05:28:21 PM 
Started by BonesMS - Last post by BonesMS
My blood boils over elder abuse too Bones. It is very painful isn't it?

Oh, YES, it IS!!!

I'm in the process of contacting local resources to see what can be done to address what has happened to him.


 43 
 on: July 27, 2014, 05:07:27 PM 
Started by BonesMS - Last post by Gaining Strength
My blood boils over eldr abuse too Bones. It is very painful isn't it?

 44 
 on: July 27, 2014, 04:42:12 PM 
Started by BonesMS - Last post by BonesMS
Oh ((((((Bones)))).
I'm so glad you have spotted a problem and are there for him.
Remember you need to be well in order to help...take care...

Makes my blood boil too.

I know you'll call in authorities who are in charge and the
poor man is so LUCKY that you are a person who cares.

love
Hops

Thanks, Hops.


 45 
 on: July 27, 2014, 04:20:41 PM 
Started by BonesMS - Last post by Hopalong
Oh ((((((Bones)))).
I'm so glad you have spotted a problem and are there for him.
Remember you need to be well in order to help...take care...

Makes my blood boil too.

I know you'll call in authorities who are in charge and the
poor man is so LUCKY that you are a person who cares.

love
Hops

 46 
 on: July 27, 2014, 03:05:44 PM 
Started by Gaining Strength - Last post by Gaining Strength
You find great pieces of film and literature Ann.  I'll look into it.  I. Dying to see The Heiress as well.

I have wondered if it was my mother's death or the horrific, relentless sabotages and  slander done by my brothers at the end of her life and afterward  that set things in motion for me.  I know that I was slightly aware during her life for an indescribable longing for her to come clean at the end of her life, but she didn't.

 47 
 on: July 27, 2014, 02:52:36 PM 
Started by BonesMS - Last post by BonesMS
Elder Abuse REALLY upsets me!  I think that's why my Spastic Colitis is going off!  Another neighbor and I went over to make sure our elderly neighbor had something to eat and the poor man started crying!  I almost lost it, too!

 48 
 on: July 27, 2014, 02:36:07 PM 
Started by BonesMS - Last post by BonesMS
Had a really rough day yesterday ... first dealing with an emergency affecting my 81-year-old neighbor then, in the middle of that emergency, I get hit with an attack of spastic colitis/possible kidney stone that bent me double.  NOT fun!



I think I've stumbled across a case of Elder Abuse.  It is a BIG MESS!

 49 
 on: July 27, 2014, 02:07:02 PM 
Started by BonesMS - Last post by BonesMS

I've been searching for more resources as well as doing follow-up with my elderly neighbor.  It is a REAL MESS with his brother ripping him off, not paying any bills, and God knows what else!


 50 
 on: July 27, 2014, 01:34:02 PM 
Started by Gaining Strength - Last post by ann3
Quote
ive come to realize that rather than hope or expect these period to be permanent, I am going to see it as a work in progress and just enjoy them knowing that more processing will follow. 
2 steps forward & 1 step back, but the direction and momentum is forward.

I think I went thru something similar to what you're going thru now: After my 2nd Nparent died, I went thru a "life review", tracing back all the Nism in my FOO & connecting it to who I was & how I became that way.  Many emotional ups & downs, painful memories and realizations of truth, on that roller coaster ride to my personal freedom. The ride lasted a few years (& never completely ends) but I made it to the other side & you will too.

I read a helpful book called "Death Benefits How Losing a Parent Can Change an Adult's Life for the Better by Jeanne Safer".  There's a chapter called "The Punitive Parent Dies".  Perhaps check it out?

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