Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
January 29, 2015, 03:16:27 AM

Login with username, password and session length
Search:     Advanced search
With over 100,000 posts and 2 million pageviews, the Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board has become a valuable resource for people learning about and dealing with narcissistic spouses/partners, boyfriends/girlfriends, parents, siblings, adult children, bosses, and co-workers--as well as other sources of "voicelessness."
136078 Posts in 8258 Topics by 1744 Members
Latest Member: moonlight60
* Home Help Search Login Register
+  Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
|-+  Recent Posts
Pages: 1 ... 3 4 [5] 6 7 ... 10

 41 
 on: January 23, 2015, 02:31:04 PM 
Started by Gaining Strength - Last post by Gaining Strength
This is stunningly difficult.

 42 
 on: January 23, 2015, 01:46:11 PM 
Started by BonesMS - Last post by BonesMS
How are you doing Bones?  Just stopping by to say, "Hello."


Thanks, G.S.

I'm trying to do my best, one day at a time.  It's still rough.

 43 
 on: January 23, 2015, 01:40:12 PM 
Started by Ales2 - Last post by Gaining Strength
It is a weird thing to be grateful for isn't it?  But really perhaps we are thankful for the knowledge and understanding rather than the fact that our parent is an N.  It is such a destructive force but we can find a way to overcome.  Knowledge can be powerful.

 44 
 on: January 23, 2015, 01:37:41 PM 
Started by BonesMS - Last post by Gaining Strength
How are you doing Bones?  Just stopping by to say, "Hello."

 45 
 on: January 23, 2015, 01:27:11 PM 
Started by Gaining Strength - Last post by Gaining Strength
This is it. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/overcoming-self-sabotage/201005/avoidance-anxiety-self-sabotage-how-running-away-can-bite-you-i

First step ironically is to do nothing rather than avoid.  Sounds crazy.  But if I do nothing rather than something to avoid until I have the power to address the task at hand it will bring me one step closer.  I have thought for years that I was paralyzed but now I see that I have been avoiding.  So now, rather than picking any activity rather than cleaning, housework or paperwork I am going to NOT do my primary avoidant behaviors - TV, internet, sleeping.  Rather I will set aside specific times to be present and mindful to the task.  I'll start out small but frequent, not expecting action but facing avoidance, in other words, even if not doing the task, keep it present in mind rather than doing ANYTHING else.

We'll see.

 46 
 on: January 23, 2015, 01:17:51 PM 
Started by Gaining Strength - Last post by Gaining Strength
I am back on a learning curve.  I am beginning to see that my coping technique has been to avoid - avoid rejection, condemnation etc.  but everything I did and do is tied to feeling rejected and "not good enough" and not deserving. 

Getting to this pain which I have repressed lifelong in really horrible.  I see why I have gotten where I am.  It will be the most difficult thing in my life to face this and get beyond.  But I believe I can do it.

Avoidance is a kind of a double bind.  I. Not sure how I will do it but I do know that for every level that I have faced the way out has appeared as well.  The only thing I fear is staying where I am. 

I have to laugh at myself because as soon as I post this I will by habit be pulled into avoidant tactics.  I can feel it pulling on me even as I type.  This will be the most difficult shift of my life.  But I know I must do it and I know I can.

 47 
 on: January 23, 2015, 01:08:42 PM 
Started by Gaining Strength - Last post by Gaining Strength
Thanks so much Alesa.  The article was interesting.  When I read something that confirms my experience it gives me a boost.  This struggle is so alienating but reading something like that helps me feel understood and for some reason that is more valuable than having a handful of friends care.  This "disease" is so bizarre and few people understand at all.  It puts the ground back under my feet to  understand why I have struggled so.

 48 
 on: January 23, 2015, 12:42:36 AM 
Started by Anonymous - Last post by Garbanzo
awww thanks for the suggestions gals

 49 
 on: January 22, 2015, 08:02:56 PM 
Started by Gaining Strength - Last post by Ales2
HI GS - I hope you are doing OK. Your post made me feel very sad - I felt much the same as you did about people who claim to love when what they really do is undermine and hate. I read the article and saw the site it came from and my initial reaction is that what a contrast it is to sites on Nism.

Also, alot of what you were talking about sounds like energy healing - not yet something I believe- but I have seen interesting videos on Youtube about "cutting cords of negativity" as a meditation, affirmation and hypnosis. I can't recommend anything, but thinks its an interesting concept to explore.

Anyway, I am thinking about you and wishing you the best in your recovery and healing. The last two months have been tough for many, so hang in there, think of its like the dark of winter and spring is coming (literally and figuratively).

All the best to you, Alesa

 50 
 on: January 22, 2015, 01:14:43 PM 
Started by BonesMS - Last post by BonesMS
Bones, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother's death and the way you have been treated.  It is the way you are treated most of all that brings up the hurt.

Thanks, G.S.

Dealing with dysfunctional relatives and all of their crap makes it harder.


Pages: 1 ... 3 4 [5] 6 7 ... 10
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.19 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!